Spooge Wowzer

Penis is at it again. This time he has an infomercial trying to sell some stupid rag. These are some "highlights" from Mr. Penis' latest venture.

--- "Hi it's Penis with Spooge Wowzer, It's like a chamois, a towel, a sponge. You can use it on your vibrator, your anal-beads, your blow-up doll. A normal towel doesn't work wet, this works soaked in semen or dry as a nun's vagina." "Spooge Wowzer holds 30 times it's weight in body fluids. Porn-stars use it as a towel, this thing will vacuum every last ounce of spooge right out of your anus. Gay porn-stars love this baby. Will it pull a gerbil out of your ass? I say yes, give it a try!" "It doesn't drip, doesn't let that vag fluid hit the carpet. You can cut it in half, put half under your balls, and put the other half between your girlfriend's tits." "Now here is the big thing, this is some semen, ball sweat, breast milk, anal fluid, all combined together. Now I'm going to dump this on some bed sheets, and when I lift the sheets, it has soaked through right into the mattress. That is what you don't want. I'm going to do this in real time, are you following me camera douche-bag? I add Spooge Wowzer and without applying any pressure, all of that fluid is vacuumed right out of the mattress." "Spooge Wowzer is amazing! It's made in Poland, you know the Polish always make great shit! Buy Spooge Wowzer today and you'll be yellin' "Wowzer" every fuckin' time!"

--- Well it's official to anyone who didn't already know, Penis is a complete tool. What is up with the headset? Don't buy this stupid rag, or you'll be saying "Dumbass" everytime you use it.

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